Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Galib Joke

Light ki gair maujudgi me Gaalib farmate hai..

'Hum to yu hi Lund khada kar k soye hue the Gaalib,
Koi Behen ka Lauda Mombatti samajh kar machis laga gaya..;-)

Gloves Jokes

Wat a insulting sms-

Boy 2 his Girl Frnd- "agr tumhare haath na ho to kya tum gloves pahnogi?"

GF-"No, of course not!"

Boy-"fir tum bra kyu pahanti ho..?

Reason for divorce Jokes

Reason for divorce
Woman:
I expected this = = = = =>
atleast this = = =>
but got this = =>
Man:I expected this()
almost this( )
but what is this
( )

Statement Jokes

Ek chorni pakdi gai.
Cosntable: Chal teri statement leni hai But he fucks her.Then H.C. Then S.I. Then SHO. In the evening they produced her in the court.
Magistrate:Teri statement leni hai. Kuch kehna hai?
Chorni : Sir,Statement to sooji padi hai. Kal le lena.

Electric Engineer Joke

1 Motta Electric Engineer apni wife se "SEX" karte samay bola"darling! tumhe kya gam hai?

Wife-swami load jyada aur voltage kam hai.

CHALO CHEENI KHAYE Jokes

Pati patni ne sex karne k liye code word rakha "CHALO CHEENI KHAYE"

1din unka nokar unki jawan beti k sath sex karta pakda gaya.

MAALIK:kya kar raha he?

NOKAR:Maalik, cheeni kha raha hu.

MAALIK: aare pagal cheeni hi khani thi to khuli bori me se kha leta, nayi bori kyu kholi..

Japan Bhosdi ka Joke

Jindgi kya hai arman bhosdi ka,
Aurat k piche padha inshan bhosdi ka,
Plastick ka lund,
Elestick ki chut, kya kya bana raha hai JAPAN bhosdi ka...?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Mulla Joke

MULLA on 1st nite: Batao Hairan karu ya Paresan?

Wife-Dono
He shows his 12 inch penis&said HAIRAN hui na?

Wife-Ha Ab PARESAN karo?

MULLA-Ye khada nahi hota !

Friday, August 6, 2010

Rashifal Joke

Aapka Aaj ka RASHIFAL:- Dhyan chuchi pe rahega, Land pe pakad dhili rahegi, Chut k darshan nirashajanak rahege, Koi Gand bhi maar sakta h hoshiyar rhe..!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

12 kele Joke

Arz kiya h.... Wah wah.. Bosdi ke phle sun to le. Toh arz kiya h.. 10 rupye k 12 kele.. 10 rupye k 12 kele. 1-1 karke gand me lele...ha...ha...ha...

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Recession Joke

Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When 'Wine & Women' get replaced by
'Water & Wife', that critical phase of life is called 'Recession'!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

penis Joke

A girl touches 1st time a boy's penis. 2 drops come out from it. Girl asked ''what's this?''
Boy said ''ara pagli, yeh to khusi ka ashu hai!''

Kudrat ki Vidambnaa Joke

Kaisi vidambnaa kudrat ki hai..

Fulon ka Raja GULAB
"KAANTO" mein rehta hai,

aur,

Srishti ka Nirmata LUND
"JHAATOO" mein rehta hai..!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Pathan Hathiyar Joke

Judge : are bhai Pathan tum ne bechare is Daroga ki gand q mari....
Pathan: judge sb. Daroga ne ham ko hukum dia tha k 'HATHIYAR DAAL DO' Ham ne daal dia..

Friday, July 16, 2010

Zero Figure Joke

Zero figure Dekhkar Galib ne arz kiya

Na gand hai na seena hai
Gour farmaiyega
Na gand hai na seena hai

Ye madarchod kaisi haseena hai?

Monday, July 12, 2010

PAPPU Joke

Raat ki tanhai mei haath underwear mei daal kar bahut kuch hota hai, Mat satao use kyunki raat ko PAPPU bhi sota hai...

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Train Joke

Heights of Shock & Bad Luck:

A newly married man travelling wid her wife dialled Num of a girl written on a
Trains Toilet wall &
His WIFE picked up d Phone

Kamwali bai Joke

Kamwali Bai Ko Kuch Ladke Ched Rahe The.
Bai-Batameeji Karoge to Mor Bana Dungi.
Ladke-Mor Kaise Banaogi?
Bai-Madarchod Gaaand me Jhadu dal ke...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Ladka aur Ladki Pheli Mulaqat Joke

Ladka aur ladki pehli mulaqat pe ek dusre k baare me kya sochte hain:

1) Girl: kitna seedha ladka hai.
Boy: kitna sexy maal hai , doodh dekh sali ke..

2)Girl: kitna nice behaviour hai.
Boy: Gaand dekh sali ki kitni tight hai..

3)Girl: dressing zabardast ki hai.
Boy: skirt thodi or choti hoti to lund hi khada ho jana tha..

Friday, July 2, 2010

Afganistan Pathan Joke

Pani ki Zarurat Registan Ko Hoti Hai,
Sitaron Ki Zarurat Aasman Ko Hoti Hai
Aap Kabhi Afganistan Na Jana
kyu Ki Acchi gaand Ki Zarurat Har Pathan Ko hoti hai.

Medical Report Joke

Ek ladki ki medical report change ho gyi.
doctor-ur pregnent.

girl-he bhagwan ab to ungli ka bhi bharosa nhi rha....

Orgasm Joke

They say that Women can Fake an Orgasm for a Relationship.


Hmmm...


Big Deal !




MEN CAN FAKE AN ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP JUST FOR AN ORGASM !!!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Letter to Principal Joke

A girl writting leter to principal!
To
The gandu Principal,
choda School,
chudaipur.
Sir,
Main aap k school ki 8v class ki student hoo.
Par mere boobs bade hone k karan mujhe 10v class me bitha diya. Pr class ke ldko ne mil ke meri chut mar li jiska mjhe afsos nhi h balki bahut maja aya. Pr unho ne meri gand bhi mari, jo k bahut dard kar rahi hai. Isliye mai 2din skool me nhi aa sakti..

Fatt gayi kachi..
chud gayi sachi..
Aap ki pyaari
randi bachi..

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Sucess Joke

''THOUGHT OF D DAY "
'Zindgi ki race me 1st aane ke liye hamesha ye soch kar bhago ki pichhe LUND hai, Agar ruke to GAND me ghus jayega'
WILLIAM SEX FEAR...!!!

Langoti Joke

Why underwear is named as Langoti in Hindi
Guess
Guess

Think

Bcos it takes care of
LUND and GOTIS!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Pregnat Wife Joke

Admi:
Agar wife Pregnant ho to kis month tak SEX kar sakte hai?

Dctr:
Jab tak Bacha andar se CHEEKH kar na kahe "Madarchod bas kar, meri bhi marega kya..?"

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

AUR CHUTIYE Joke

Pandit ka Tota roz 1 admi ko dekta or bolta, 'AUR CHUTIYE', Us admi ne pandit se sikayat ki to pandit ne tote ko danta...

agle din jb wo admi tote k karib se guzra to tota kuch na bola..
Thora aage ja k us admi ne mud k dekha to tota haste hue bola
''SAMAJh TO TU GAYA HOGA''

Sardar Murga Joke

SARDAR_Murga kaise diya?MURGEWALA-Rs.10,50,70. SARDAR-10 ka itna sasta kyo?MURGEWALA-isko aids hai. SARDAR-de do khana hi to hai gand thodi marni hai.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Khubsurat Land Joke

Ladki God se: plz ladko ka land thoda khubsurat bana do. God Ladki se: itna ganda banane par to choos leti ho maderchodo acha bana diya to kha hi jaaogi !

Sardar Joke

3 days b4 marriage santa goes 2 a callgirl 4 experince.
She bites on d penis.
He goes 2 doctr n doctor dressed all around d penis.
On 1st nite wife says dear look my seal is tite till today.
Santa-tu seal di gal kardi hai yaaran ne haje packing v ni kholi.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

ELFY Joke

Bachha:didi ApKo Pta Hai papa,mammi 2 Din Se Room Se Q Nhi Nikle.? Sister:Nhi!. Par Tum Hans Q Rahe Ho.? Bachha: papa Ne OIL Manga Tha.. Maine ELFY DeDi.!

Hichki aur Lund Joke

Santa ko Hichki aayi aur saath hi uska Lund bhi bahar nikal
gaya..

Santa- Oh Rabba lagta hai Banta k saath saath Bhabhi bhi
yaad kar rahi hai...("!")

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

JUGAAD Joke

Teacher : ok, baccho..!!
Ye bataao ki is sentence mein pinky ka kya role hai :-
"Pinky sab ke saath baat karti hai".
studnt : sir,
Pinky JUGAAD hai.!!

javed jaan joke

Pathan dr. se-5 saal se sex kar raha hun par hamara bachcha nahi ho raha.
dr.-ye to pareshani ki baat hai, apne partner ko bulao.
Pathan -javed jaan ,andar aao

KINGFISHER Joke

5 men enter a KINGFISHER flight & force all airhostess nude. All girls lie down naked.
1 girl asks : Is it a hijack, robery or a routine Board of Directors meeting?

Chutiya Panthi Joke

Boy: main tumhare liye jaan de sakta hu. Girl: accha to 5 manzil se kood jao.. Boy jumps & die.. Moral: Chutiyapanthi se maut milti hai chut nahi.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Giridhar Barse Angan Mein Joke

A lady teachr askd hr studnt 2write a poem on 'giridhar barse aangan mein'
the boy writes!
Ek hamari pyari madam masti bhare is yauvan me,
shaam dhali piya ghar aye, khat bichai aangan mein,
lab chuse,
stan dabaye,
ling gushaye jangan mein,
vo sesak-sesak ke ro padi,
jab 'giridhar barse angan mein'!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Asshole Boss Joke

When the body was first made,all parts wanted to be the 'Boss'.
Brain said- I'm Boss,bcoz 'I decide'.
Feet said 'I'm Boss, as I run', the Heart said 'I'm Boss, as I'm a critical resource without which the body is dead' and so on by the Lungs, the Hands, Eyes....Finally Asshole said- I should be the Boss.
All parts started laughing.
So Asshole went on strike,blocked itself and refused to open
In a shrt time
Hnds crcked
Eys blured
Ers emited hot air
Bran got hevy
Hert&Lungs panickd
So they al agred that Asshole shoud be the BOSS !

Moral:
It doesn't mater wat u do&wat ur talnts r
Any Asshole cn be ur Boss!

Gum-e-Recession joke

A statement from a loyal employee to HR :
Gum-e-recession mein yoon naa gand maro hamaari,
kabhi boom mein milo to maa chod de tumhari..........

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Husband Wife Joke

Hasband Office se ghar Aaya our apni wife se bola:


"ROTI-VOTI PAKAI HAI, YA CHUT DABA KE SOI HO".


Biwi:-"AATA-WATA LAYE HO,YA LAND HILATE AAYE HO".

Nawab Shayari Joke

Ek Nawab Ne Nahate waqt Sheeshey me Apni Gaand Aur Lund Dekhte Huve Ye Sher kaha :-
"Kya Qayamat hai Kya Majboori hai, Paas Reh ke Bhi kitni Doori hai...

7 Quality of Tea & Girl Joke

Ladki aur tea me hamesha 7 quality dekho

1.Garam ho
2.Rang achha ho
3.Tez ho
4.Meethi ho
5.Doodh jyada ho
6.2 minute me taiyar ho jaye
7.Raat ko sone na de..

Faisla Joke

Soch Samajh k Jawab Do Agar Raat ko Aap k Saath Bed pe 1 side Nude Ladki ho Our Dusri side 1 GAY ho to Aap kiski Taraf Muh karke Soyenge? Faisla apka Gand apki.

Bed Joke

Shadi k 6 mahine bad girl Ma se: Aap ne jo bed dia tha wo chota hai!
Maa: Tu ab bata rahi hai itne dino bd?
Girl: Taange seedhi karne ka mauka hi ab mila hai!.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Fw: U.K.

U.K.G 2050 :
Niple Niple LitlE Star
Can i fuck u in my car
Up above ur Breast so high
Always milky never dry
let me pres it dont feel shy
open ur bra let me try.

Car Joke

A hindu, Muslim, & Christian buy a car in partnership.

Hindu applied "tilak" on car,

Christian put cross mark,

What did the muslim do?

He cut d silencer 2 inch..!

Bheek Joke

Wife: Suno ji 1st Week Roz Cinema Dekhenge, Agle Week Puri Shoping karnge phir sara week ghumenge

Husband=Uske Agle Week Hm Pura Mandir Jaenge

Wife: Wo kisliye?

Husband: Bheek Mangne...

Signal

Sex karte samay. Biwi: Aap bilkul mobil fon jaise ho.

Pati proudly: U luv my vibration.

Biwi: Nahi

:


:


Basemnt me jate hi apka network fail ho jata hai

Toilet Joke

Ek sardar ladies toilet me ghus gaya..

Ek Mahila boli- ye mahilao ke liye hai..

Sardar pant kholkar hilate hue bola- ye bhi to mahilaoo ke liye hai.!.

Sex Joke

What is "SEX" ?

It is science with a wife,
It is n art with girlfriend's,
It is commerce with prostitute &
It's social service with aunties.
LOVE GURU

Chand Joke

Papa: Beta tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?

Beta: Chand jaisi biwi,
Jo raat me aaye aur subha chali jaye.

Papa: Madarchod use chand nahi, raand kehte hai.

Sadhu Joke

Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ke mandir me matha tekne k liye jhuka 1 admi ne unki gand ko gullak samaj k 1 sikka dal diya sadhu palt k bola ghanta bhi bajale madarchod

Loda Joke

What is the pure SANSKRIT name of PENIS.

Guess.

?

"MUTRA NIKASAK SHISHU UTPADAK
ANAND PRADAYAK NALIKA"

KUCH seekhlo saalo, loda...loda .. chillate rehte ho.

Honeymoon

Honeymoon(full 4m)-

H-HEY MAT KARO.
O-OH NA DABAO.
N-NIPLE DUKTA HAI.
E-ETNA LAMBA.
Y-YEH KITNA MOTA HAI.
M-MAR GAI.
O-Oh SHIT.
O-OR TEZ.
N-NIKAL GAYA HAI..

Bra joke

Patni: Aaj jab mai apni BRA pahen rahi thi tab Mr.Sharma mujhe dekh raha tha.

Pati:Toh tumne kya kiya?

Patni: Kya karun, BRA se apna Mooh chhupa liya..!!

Angutha Joke

A kid entered into parents' bedroom and is shocked at what he sees.

He shouts at his mom,

"KHUD JO MARZI CHUSO AUR MUJHE ANGUTHA CHUSNE PAR ITNA MAARTI HO!"

Bus stop Joke

Lady feeding child in bus- jaldi se pe le nai to uncle ko pila dungi.

Jab 3rd time boli to santa bola jaldi decide kar Is chakkar mai 3 bus stop aage aa gaya hu.

Secretary Joke

Sardar ko Offce main secretary boli:
Vacation pe mujhe Sir DARJILING dekhna hai..

Santa pant khol ke BOLA:
Vacation pe kyo.?
Abhi dekh le
SirDAR JI KA LING ?

Suhagrat Joke

Suhagrat par Hakle ne kaha - aa aa aao na jaan ch Ch Ch Chu Chu chu..

Wife kapde utarkar boli- ab chusle, chumle ya chodle par chu chu matkar chutiye...

Call Girl Joke

Ek church ke gate pe likha tha:
Jo paap kar ke thak gye wo meri sharan me aaye.

Ek call girl ne niche apna no. likh diya:

Jo nahi thakey wo meri sharan me aaye.

LIC Joke

LIC launches a new sexy Policy:

"Jeevan Sambhog"
in partnership with
Kamasutra Condoms & i-PILL.

The new punch line is:

"Thokne Ke Saath Bhi
Thokne Ke Baad Bhi"

Harami Joke

Sardar(apne bete ko mutth marte dekhkar)- Deepu Harami!
Yeh tu kya kar raha hai?

Son-deepu apna kaam khud karta hai,apni khushi ke liye Kisi ki maa Nahi chodta

Murgi Joke

1 Murgi Market Gai aur kaha- ek Anda dena.

Shopkeeper-anday ka kya krogi?

Murgi- Mere Pati ne kaha hai ki 3-/ Rs k Liye Tum Apna Figure Kharab Mat karo..

Police Joke

Police:Jail me kaise aana hua?
Santa:Media wali ladki ki wajah se,

Police:Wo kaise?

uski T-shirt pe likha tha PRESS.

Aur maine daba dia

Pyaar joke

Wife To Husb: Tumhe Pyaar Krna Nahi Aata..?
Husbnd: to Kya Ye 3 Bachhey Internet Se Download Kiye Hain..?
WIFE: NAHI-NAHI YE TO MISHRAJI KI PEN-DRIVE SE LIYE HAI

UNITY Joke

The importance of UNITY explained at its best...

A girl's one leg says to the other leg :

United we are safe...
Divided we are fucked!!

Mushkil Joke

Santa-Oh yaar me badi mushkil me hu,Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka 1 rupeya leti hai

Banta:Oh yaar tu lucky h, Auron se to woh 5 leti hai

Monday, May 24, 2010

My husband is safe...Joke

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer. Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die. Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe...

Sunday, May 23, 2010

nitrate? joke

In chemistry class teacher ask 2 a Girl. what is nitrate? Girl(sharma k) sir,night rate Rs1500/ hotel k bhi aap pay karo gay...

Paan joke

Ghalib nay Larki ko periods mai dekha to arz kiya,, Shalwar K neeche se tapak tapak K pani laal ata hy, Kamal ho gya ghalib, Kya Phudaa b Paan khata hai

5 Tv Program joke

Top 5 TV programmes: 1. Kaun marega kisi ki fuddi. 2. Kyun ki saas bhi kabhi chudi thi. 3. Chuttar faadh ke. 4. Kahani lun-lun ki.... 5. Ek mahal ho mommo ka..

Thakur Gabbar joke

Sambha: Sardar thakur ka kya kerna hai Gabbar: kuch nai uske haath kaat do aur roz 3 blue film dikhao,woh khud Tadap Tadap kar mar jayega

Cycle seat joke

Hostel k compound mein larkian cycle chalatay hue shor ker rahi theen, Madam ne aa ker kaha: Shor kam karo warna cycle pe phir se seat lagwa diin gi..

Panty Tight Karle Joke

Sardar Ka Beta 5th Class Mai Fail Huwa to 4th Mai Wapis Aaya... 4th Mai Fail to 3rd Mai aur 3rd Se 2nd... Sardar Biwi Se Bola Panty Tight Karle Wo Wapas Aa Raha Hai

jadugal joke

1st kid-meli mom jadugal hai jab wo papa ke nunu ko chuti hai to wo bada ho jata hai. 2nd-meli mom jab papa ke nunu par bethti hai nunu gayab ho jata hai.

sex ka code joke

Pati patni ne sex ka code rakha - kapde dhona Pati: Kapde dhone hain, machine khali hai ? Patni: Nahi, abhi 1/2 ghanta ruk jao. Patni: (1/2 ghante baad): Aajao ab kapde dhoyen. Pati: Rehne do, maine haath se dho liye

Suicide and Masturbation joke

What's common between Suicide and Masturbation? Khud-Kushi and Khud-Khushi.

Bra Is Singular joke

Why Did English Teacher Slap Santa? Because Santa Asked Her: Y Is Bra Is Singular When It Cover 2 and Panties Plural When It Cover Only One?

Friday, May 21, 2010

Hypnotise Joke

Husband :Hypnotise karna kya hota hai ?

Wife:kisi ko apne Control me kerke apni Marzi ke "kaam"karwana

Husband:Chal Jhooti,Use to SHAADI kehte hain.!

Similarity Jokes

Q: What's the similarity between a lady and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet n tight in the beginning but become tasteless n shapeless later.

Confused Jokes

Santa maths vich fail kyu hoya.?
Son-Techer kendi h 5+3=8
fir kendi 6+2=8
fir kendi 4+4=8
Ben di lodi khud confused hai menu ki padayegi.

Rishta Jokes

Boy-Ab Hamara Tumhara
PYAR KHATAM.
Meri SAB Nishania Vapis Kardo.

Premika ne Ek Condom ki Tokri De kar Kaha:-
"Le Kutte,
Eisme se Jo-jo TERE Ho Dhund Le.??

Condom

3 Girls Gossiping,

1st- Kal Maine Tution Wale Sir K Table Pe Condom Dekha.

2nd- Maine Usme Ched Kar Diya.

3rd - Haramjadi, Marva Diya Na.

Hilao

Jo mila aurat ko mila!! Hont milay chuswany ko, Mammay milay dabwanay ko, Phuddi mili chudwanay ko. Aur apko kia mila??? LUN!!! aor wo b sirf hilaney ko??? so hilao...

Santre

Man to Lady in bus: Apne santre sambhaliye mam, they disturb me. Angrily she replies: Tumko kya, santre mere hai na. Man: Haan par juice to mera nikal raha hai.

Talent

to get 100/100 marks a man needs 100% talent whereas a woman need only 4% talant and remaining is 34-26-36..

Photo

Santa:yaar tujhe bus me thapad kyu pada?

Bnta: Pata nhi?
Meri photo niche gir gayi thi,

Maine kaha behen ji zara sadi upar karna photo leni hai

Good manners

Wife : I demand good manners in bed just like at the dinner table. .


Santa : climbs into bed slowly,smiles & says

"Honey would u pass the Boobs please"

Chota

Suhagrat ko Santa to wife:teri to bohot khuli hai.

Biwi gusse me-chal nikaal
Meri Car, Cash, Jewellary,A.C. Fridge wapis karde.

Santa:sory mera hi chota hai

Sardar aur Chor

Sardar chor pkd k apne bachho se-Iski gand maro.
3 ne try ki mgr andar na gya. SARDAR-Chaku lao,iski gand faad do.
CHOR:Maderchodo 1bar thuk laga k to try kro.

Phele Mera

Madam claas mein - chup ho jao varna khada kar dungi.sare bache chilane lage... pehle mera...pehle mera..

Rally

Saas bahu se: Muje bas 1 pyara sa pota chahiye

Bahu: Bas 1 ?
Apka beta to mujhe roj aise chodta hai jaise 14 Nov. ki rally meri hi chut se niklegi.

Hila

Hila Darling Hila

Zor se Hila

Hila Dil se Hila

Pakad Pakad k Hila

Bas Hilati Ja

Jitna Hilayegi Utna Maza Ayega

Varna


HALWA Jal Jayega.ok

Bill

Boy:I LUV U
Girl:I don't
Boy:Think again
Girl:No,I don't
Boy:Waiter,Bill alag alag lana
Girl:I LUV U,I LUV U, KEH TO RAHI HU

Tum bhi na Bas bura maan jate ho..

SIX or SEX

SIX or SEX Mai kya Farq hai?
.
Very simple
.
Utha k maaro tou SIX
Or
Litaa k maaro tou SEX
.
Haath ooper ho tou SIX
Or
Taangay UPAR HO TO SEX

Mandir

Boy says to girl:-come into my heart....
Girl:-sandal nikalu kya?

Boy:-hat pagali... mera dil koi mandir thodi hai, pahen kar hi aaja.

Bhikari to a lady sitting on a park bench:
"Hi darling! so ur in the mood to have some fun wid me.."

Lady: How dare u?

Bhikari: Then what r u doing on my bed.

Big

1 dost : kal girlfrind ka Birthday hai,
Usko kya gift du?

2nd- yaar apna lund de de.

1st- nahi yaar koi badi cheez batao.
2nd-To mera de de.

Sms

Wife to husband - Aa uh yes ak ungli mery chut me dalo ab dusry wali gand me dalo.
Husband chillakar bola=ye land kha dalu
Wife - Ise sms padhane wale ki gand me dal do...

Use

Snta- Jb tumari wife gum hui to police ko Q nhi bataya

Bnta- Q ki jab mera scooter gum hua tha to policewalo ne 15-20 din istemal kar ke dia tha

Aam

Ek sadhu ek gali se ja raha tha
Ki ek BRA uspe giri

Sadhu- Wah, Re dunia wah, Tumhari kaisi leela,
Aam koi Choos raha hai aur Chhilke hum pe Fenk raha hai.

Lifetime Pack

1Kunwari Ladki Ko Bachcha Ho Gya

UsKe BaaPNe Puchha-Yeh Kis Ka hai ?

LAdki-papa chota chota rechrge dalwati thi pata nhi kisne ye lifeTime pack dal diya....!

Fashion

Bache ke khatna k waqt
Chachi:Is k Chacha jaisa nokdaar banana?
Mami:Is k Mama jaisa gol topi ho?Mulla lungi kholKar:Apki marzi wrna fashion to ye chal raha hai.

carieer barbaad kar dita...

Sperms talking to each other in pennies main doctor banuga, main pilot banuga, after sometime Sardar goes to bathroom for mustarbation saale Sardaar ne sada carieer barbaad kar dita...

MILLIONAIRES

Just remember
That ALL MEN ARE MILLIONAIRES
Atleast by their sperm count.....
The Funniest thing is.....


Even these are also spent on women...

Underwear

Customer: ISs underwear ki kia guarantee hai? shopkeeper: SIr aap 22 manzil se jump mar ker dekh lo, Gaand phat jaye gi, underwear nai phate ga

No Sir, No Sir!

A General asks a young lady officer, how she felt in Services? Lady: Very fine, whole day passes in saying Yes Sir, Yes Sir and the whole night in No Sir, No Sir!

wife is better

2 men went to fuck a girl. 1st came out after fucking a girl n said... My wife is better 2nd went in ,fuck a girl... Came out n said... U were right, your wife is better..

VAGINA look like before SEX?

How does VAGINA look like before SEX? Like a Pink Rose with soft Petals and Perfumed Aroma. And after SEX? Ever seen a SARDARS mouth after having LASSI.....!

First Time

Husband-Is it really your first night..

Beautiful & Sexy Wife-No No actually it is first time at night..
Maa raat ko bahar nahi jaane deti thi

Bahar aana

3 ladies-; 1st mera pati pura hath dal deta hai.
2nd mera pati to 1 hath aur 1 per dal deta hai.
3rd salwar utha k boli suno jara bahar aana..

Jaadu

SEX k Waqt ladki ne apne legs faila k ladke se puchha: Hamare bachche ka naam kya hoga

ladka Condom pehen k bola: Is ke baad bhi hoga to "JAADU" rakhenge.

Detergent...

Sardarni : maine naye detergent se apni panty Dhoyi aur wo chhoti ho gayi, ab kya karu...?

Sardar : usi detergent se apni choot bhi dho le...!

Narad

Narad ko aa gaya ek kanya pe krodh,
Usne lena chaha pratishodh aur diya kanya ko chod,
Kanya ne kiya virodh,
Boli Narad madarchod,
Chod diya bina nirodh!!!

Bhai Behen

Girl: Xcuseme brother , thats my seat .

Boy : OK ! But Im not ur brother , my father never fucked ur mom.

Girl : true , but my father did !

Kahani

Ek tha Raja

Ek thi Rani


Dono mar gaye khatam kahani

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Bola na khatam kahani


Niche kya laash dhundh re ho.

Names

Why are American names like Jackson, Wilson, Markson, Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davison, Jemson?

So that there mom can remember who is whose son

Difference

Wat Is d Difference Btwn

New Couple & Old Couple?

New Couple
LIPS Milla kar sote Hain

Aur

Old Couple
HIPS Milake kar

Maar

Mom: Beta kahana Khayega?
Beta:Na
Mom: Laddu Khayega?
Beta:Na
Mom: Fruits?
Beta:Na
Mom: Baap pe gaya he Maar Hi khayega

Ladki

PAPA BETA MENE TUMHARE LIYE 1 LADKI DEKHI H VO RUPVATI H GUNVATI H BILKUL SARASWATI H.
BETA: SORRY PAPA ME 1 LADKI SE PYAR KARTA HU OR VO GARBWATI H

Love

Girl-LOVE kese hota h..?
Boy-"L" ko pakar k,
"O" kodaba k,
"V" me dalo,
Jab "E" ki awaz aye to samjho LOVE ho gaya...!

Sex code

1 couple ne sex code rakha
KAPDE DHONA
Pati:kapde dhone hein washng machn khali hai kya
Biwi:1 Ghante bad

Biwi:ab me taiyar hu
Pati:Maine hath se dho liye hai

Case

8sal ka boy Rape-case m-pkada-gya court-m lady-advocate uska-chhota Sa-LUND PAKD -BOLI=Judge sab kya isse-RAPE hoga?
Boybola-HILA MAT CASE har jayegi

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Period

Girl 2 bhelwala (out side college): "zaldi meri chat"?

Bhelwala:bas 2 minute.

Girl: jaldi meri chat do


verna

"Period chalu ho jaega"

Anda

BANTA=Q Ro Rahe Ho?
SANTA=Meri Murgi Marr Gayi
BANTA=Mera Baap Mara,Par Mai To Roya Nahi
SANTA=Tera Baap Kya Ande Deta Tha?

Frustrated Thakur

Gabbar:ye hath mjhe dede thakur
Thakur:lele lele mere hath b lele
Kalia k b lele,
Basanti k b lele
Jay or Veeru tum b dedo
le
DURGA MATA banja Saale.!
Gabbar: Sorry yaar tu to senti ho gya.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Gaand

Arz kiya hai-Gaand k sath aksar ye ghatna ghat jati hai Musibat hoti hai koso dur ye bhenchod pehle Fat jati hai

Chinese

Boy:tum chinese lagti ho?

Girl:haan mere papa Chinese the?

Boy:ab kahan hai?

Girl:woh 10 saal pahle mar gaye?

Boy:Haan to china ka maal chalega bhi kitna.

T-shirt quote

Best T-shirt quote on 14yr old girl


( . ) ( . )
comming soon!

Condom

Beta: Papa ye condom kya hota hai ?

Baap: Chal bhag mujhe nahi pata.

Beta: Bhenchod Tabhi to hum 10 Bhai-behen ho gaye

Sex

Baap ne SEX k Waqt Apne Bete ko Balcony Me Betha Dia

Beta=Dad Ramu ki MAA Bhi CHUD Rahi He

Baap=Kese Pata Chala?

Beta=Wo Bhi Balcony Me Betha Hai

Bansuri

Sex ke baad wife pati se:
Tumhari bansuri bahut choti hai,

Pati: Muje thodi pata tha ke Town hall me bajani hai.

Name?

Sardar to girl: wat's ur name?
Girl: Carmen...
Sardar:ye kaisa nam hai?
Girl:because i like Cars and men...
Girl:Whats ur name?

Sardar: "CHUTINDER singh BOOBIYA.."

Caste?

Teacher: What is your caste?

Student: Pehle hum Singh they,
Phir Rajput hue,
Phir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai Darzi?.
Aur aage Mummy ki marzi..

Ungli

Jub Ghee Seedhi Ungli Se Na Nikle To.


Chamach Istemaal Karo
Har Cheez Me Ungli Karna Achi Baat Nhi He.

Cheeta

1 ladki jungle se ja rahi thi,achanak samne se chita aa gaya.

cheeta-open UR BRA

Girl-why?

Cheeta-tv nahi dekhti kya

CHEETA BHI PITA HAI

Monday, May 17, 2010

Blue Film Name

Best Blue Film Ever
1.Hasina Ki Gand Me Pasina
2.Ghar Me Sali To Puri Raat Diwali
3.Pati Fauj Me Biwi Mauj Me
4.Utar Ke Panty So Gayi Aunty

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Underwear

Sexy Lady in Sexy voice:
Batao Mere underwear me kya hai ?

Batao ?

Santa (wid confidence):
Elastic hi hoga, aaj-kal naadewali kaun pehnti hai..!!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Dalogy n Nikalogy


A prostitute left her profesion nd start teaching. she goes 2 a skool.princpal asks wot u can teach biology,zology or psychlogy. She repliz no Dalogy n Nikalogy

B.R.E.A.S.T.S

7 qualities to be a perfect woman: Beautiful, Responsible, Energetic, Adorable, Sweet, Truthful Self-Organised In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T.S

'Women Hole

The most difficult golf course in the world is... 'Women Hole' any style you play... as many shots you try... and as much perfection you have... you can never get your balls in...!!!

You want sex?

Husband reading a book on bed with wife beside, his finger went inside her panty. Wife ask 'You want sex?' 'No, just to wet my finger to turn the page!

Boobs R Smal

Girl: Dr, my boobs r small. Pls Do somethng ? Dr: Cum everyday. I wil suck & make them BIG. Girl : Ok then I wil get my husband also. His penis is also small !

Insurance Policy

i want to fuck u from day to late night so that u get pragnant and i will kill ur child so that i got lot of money from insurance policy of ur child

Charpai

1admi padosi se charpai mangne jata hai
Padosi-humare pas to 2 he charpai h
1pe main aur pita ji sote hai aur dusre pe maa aur meri biwi

admi-charpai mat do
SALO PAR SONA TOH SIKH lo.

Kamina

If girl vomits, her parents asks :-kaun tha woh kamina?

If boy vomits:-
"kamine,kahaan pi ke aaya hai?

MORAL: No matter whoevr vomits,the Boys r alwys kamina.

Kunwari ladki

Girl: Fuck me Plz.
Boy: nahi main Kunwari ladkiyon k sath sex nahi karta.
Girl: why?
Boy: bus mujhe "Khoon-Kharaba or "Shor-Sharaba" pasand nahi.

MITHAI ki Dukan

Underwear me 1 MITHAI ki Dukan hai,
Jisme 1 CREAMROLL hai,
2 GULAB JAMUN hai,
kuch SEVIYAN bhi hai,
aur Khushi ke Mouko Par toh KHEER Bhi Banayi Jati Hai...

Comparison

Paisa GAAND ki tarah hota hai.
Hota sabke paas hai lekin dena koi nahin chahta.

Updesh LUND ki tarah hota hai,
Dena sab chahte hain lekin lena koi nahin chahta.

Khush Zindagi

1 Ghr Se Hamesha Hasne K Awaz Ati thi.
Kisi ne Khush Zindgi Ka Raz Pucha.

Husbnd Bola:Meri Biwi Muje Joote Se Marti h.Lag Jaye T Wo Hasti h,Na Lage T Main hsta hu

Zimmedari

Teacher:beta jimmedari kya hoti hai

Chinto:mam apke blouz ke 4 buton mein se agar 3 toot jaaien to 4th buton pe jo aayegi usko jimmedari kehte hain..

Road to USA

Girl: Make a road 4m india 2 USA
God: Its very tough ask sum thing else.
Girl: Make a boy love only 1 girl.
God: Do u want single or double road 2 USA

Owner

1 Admi 50 bacho ko lekr train m baitha..
Ek Lady boli- yeh aap ke bache hai

Nahi main condom ki factory ka malik hun,
Aur yeh sab to customer ki complaint hai

Contest

Contest in a girl's college:
Write a slogan which contains:
Religion, science & mystery.

Winner's slogan:
Oh my God!
I am pregnant¤
I wonder who did it?

Laash

Shadi k dusre din beti apni ma se-"aaj meri unse ladai ho gyi.

Ma-"beta shadi me jhagde to hote rhte hain.

Beti-"vo to thik h pr ab"LAASH"ka kya karu?

Confidence

"Confidence dekho"


Malika ne tailor ko 1 rumal dekar kaha: Mere 2 suit bana dena.


Ab aap tailor ka confidence dekho-

Madam Baki k kapde ka kya karna h.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Idiot

y do girls act like idiots????


who says they r acting ???

Nawab Saheb

Nawab Saheb Randi k pass gaye.
Daalte hi Chhut gaya.
Randi boli HUZOOR Ne Kyon ZEHMAT UTHAI,
Chamach Me Rakh Kar BHIJWA dete.
Ye Nachij Khud ANDER Daal Leti.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

BANSURI

1 sorakh me 6 sorakh kis tarah daloge?


Socho?


Socho?


Socho?


Socho?


Socho na...


Answer is very simple

.

.

.

Apni gand mein BANSURI lelo

5vi Paas

Boy-Wat is Penis?
Girlfrnd-Tool to Fuck
Boy-Wat is vagina?
Girl frnd-Where penis is put in.
Boy-& Boobs?
Girl frnd-Tu bhenchod,chodne aaya hai ya 5vi Paas Khelane!...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Rape

Ek Ladki ka dusri baar RAPE hua.Uski MAA boli: Maine tujse kaha tha Aage se dhyan rakhna.Ladki: Aage se to dhyan rakha tha par kamino ne peeche se daal dia.

Premi Premika

Premika ke ghar ke bahar kaafi der tak sexy baatein karne ke baad premi finally bola - "Darling, hum TEENO kab tak aise khade rahenge..???"

BENCHOD

'BENCHOD' is d only word which can b used 2xpres many feelings:

Revenge-BENCHOD ab dekh me kaise teri maa chodta hu

Request-BENCHOD masti mat kr yar!

Failure-BENCHOD mere lode bhi lag gaye!

Anxiety-BENCHOD ye ho kya raha h?

Anger-BENCHOD bahar nikal vrna teri gand mar lunga!

Curious-oo BENCHOD Tune ye kese kiya?

Lust-ah ah BENCHOD aur zor se hila!

Pride-BENCHOD mere jesa koi ni h!

Sad-BENCHOD mere sath hi kyu esa hua?

Msg khatm ho gya

BENCHOD

Seeing Girls

SANTA- Agar Nariyal Ke Ped Par Chad Jau Toh Engineering College Ki Ladkiya Dikh Jygi

BANTA- Fir Hath Chhod Dena
Toh Medical College Ki b Dikh Jygi

Obedience

Jinn:- "Kya hukum hai mere Aaka ?"

Aaka:- "Meri taraf se engineering tum kar lo !"

Jinn:- "Aaka..... Hukum karo, Bakchodi nahi !!"

Pension

Sardar-Mujhe aaj apne chest k white hair dikhane se old age pension mili..

WIFE-Zip khol k dikha dete to handicap alowance bhi mil jata..

Funny Quote

On an Old Man's Shirt written a cute sentence :

''I Am Not 60 Years Old.., I Am Sweet 16 with 44 years Experience....''

Thats Attitude....!

SHAYAR

SHAYAR-Arz kiya hai!
SARDAR-irshad irshad

SHAYAR-arz kiya hai!
SARDAR-irshad irshad.

SHAYAR-abe kutte ke bacchhe bolne to de!
SARDAR-WAH WAH!
WAH!WAH!

Ring Tones

Vidai k samay dulhe ka mobile baja
Bride slapped him.
Why???

usme ringtone thi-
dil me chhupake pyar ka armaan le chala. Main aaj apni maut ka saman le chala.

Chance

GIRL=Agr Moqa Mila to Tum Mujhse Shadi karoge??

BOY=Agar Moqa Mil he Gaya to fir Shadi krne ki kya Zarurat Hai??

Pearl of Wisdom to Remember

Money can't buy happiness, but somehow its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.

Some translations in hindi

Yo baby! Wassup..?

Munni, ye upar kya hai..?

Listen buddy, dat chick is mine..!

Suno dost, vo murgi ka baccha mera hai..!

R u nuts..?

Kya aap akhrot hain..?

Rock d party.

Patthar maro jashn mein..

Lets hangout!
Chalo bahar latakte hain...

Height of language prob

Man washed his pant & hung it 2 dry near neighbour aunt's saree!

He said: Aunty, remind me 2 remove my pant wen u remove ur saree!

Technology

Nurse-Aap k ghar beta paida hua hai

Santa-Wa! Kya technology hai! Biwi hospital me, aur beta ghar paida hua hai.

Height of Embarrassment?

U sittin wit ur wife in a car,another lady comes 2 ur wife & says "Paise pehle le lena, ye aadmi baad me lafda karta hai!" ;-)

Monday, May 10, 2010

Nisar

Teacher- Nisar tum kab peda hue,

Nisar- jawani janeman, hasin dilruba, mile jo dil java, nisar ho gaya.

Embroidery

Santa wounded on his ass goes to a Doc.
Dr: Stitches lagane
padenge.
S: Kitne paise?
Dr: Rs.3000
S: Stitches hi lagwane hai, embroidery nahi karwani!!

MENS F rules

MENS F rules: Find her, Follow her, Friend her, Flirt her, French her, Finger her Fuck her Forget her FIND another

PEN

Teacher- Raju tere paas 6 pen hai. 2 raja ko dede, 3 ritu ko dede, 1 gattu ko dede.. To tere pas kitna pen bache? Raju- Lauda bacha!Bhosdi k wo tu le le.

Diff Names

Names of "LUND" with ages

01-05: Toto
06-10: Bholu
11-14: Lulli
15-20: LUND
20-25: Loda
26-35: Shikari
36-50: Naram garam
51-60: Kaam chor
61-75: Zinda lash

Gadha

Gadhe ke samne 1 pani ki aur 1 Daru ki botal rakhi,
Gadha pani pi gaya,

Teacher to student-tumne is se kya sikha,

Student-jo daru nahi pita woh Gadha hai.

Happy Girl

How to Make a Woman Happy?

Its not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a chef
5. an electrician
6. a carpenter
7. a plumber
8. a mechanic
9. a decorator
10. a stylist
11. a driver
12. a gynecologist
13. a psychologist
14. a pest ex terminator
15. a psychiatrist
16. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
Easy na...

Library

Suhag rat ko Dulhe ne Dulhn ki ankh ko chuma

Wife- Ye kya?

Hsbnd- Ankh Zindgi ki kitab hai.

Wife-Bhosdike, Niche library me aag lgi hai or tu kitab me ghusa he....

Kelewala

kelewala: kele le lo kele
Madam: Are bhaiya kele to pilpile hai kadak aur lambe do
kelewala: Are madam kabhi to khane ke liye liya karo.....

Kamwali

Aasman Me Kali Ghata Chhai Hai,
Aaj Fir Gharwali Se Dant Khai Hai,
Kehti Hai Sudhar Jao Par Meri Galti Nahi hai,
Kamwali Fir Bina Bra Ke Aayi Hai.

Half Ticket

Conductor : Baccha ka tickat?
Rajsthani lady : iko b lagego k? Yo to abhi BOBO chuse hai

Conductor: BOBO to iko BAP b chuse hai. to uko b free ma bithau k

Cure

SLOGAN on a Man's T-SHIRT

"I CAN

CURE


.


.


VIRGINITY "

Hate All

When nobody luvs U
When nobdy cares 4U
When nobdy think abt U
When everyone ignores U

Sit
in
D corner

close
ur
eyes
& say 3 magical words
.
..
..
SAB
SALE
MADARCHOD
HAIN!

Divorce

Judge: Why do u want divorce
Husband: I am not satisfied
Judge to wife: Is he right
Wife: sara mohalla khush hai,
bas is kaminy ko hi takleef hai

Sardar

sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work. Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it. 2 hours later sardar 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.

Bewafa Dost

Sab dost chodu bewafa ho gaye, Hum pehli bar apne mobile se khafa ho gaye, 1-2 SMS kar do bhosdiwalo warna log samjhenge gandu log is duniya se vida ho gaye.

I-PILL

Girl 2 doctor: Maine galti se
I-PILL ki goli kha lee hai
Ab kya karu ?
Doctor:72 ghanto k andar chudwa lo
warna 90 rupay ki
maa chud jayegi.

The "LAAL" factor

Daru piyo to akhein LAAL, Kiss karo to lips LAAL, Sex karo to nunu LAAL, Karte hue pakde gaye to GAND LAAL, Bach gaye to jiyo mere LAAL.

Pussy

A girl was rubbing her pussy. She was very excited & started rubbing violently & continued until d pussy cried - 'MEOW' & ran away! Plz be KIND to animals! ;-)

Mobile Secrets

Mobile ko kabhi pichhe ki pocket me mat rakhna..

Bol kyo?

Kyoki agar mobile ko pichhe ki pocket me rakhega to battery foot jayegi, or battery footne se Gaand faat jayegi

Log to haath se Gaand dhote hai, tum gaand se haath dho bethoge.

Whos guilty

Wife dreamin in the midle of d nit suddenly shouts "Quick my husband is back". Man gets up, jumps outta d windw n realizes "damn, i'm the husband"