'Hum to yu hi Lund khada kar k soye hue the Gaalib,
Koi Behen ka Lauda Mombatti samajh kar machis laga gaya..;-)
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Galib Joke
Gloves Jokes
Boy 2 his Girl Frnd- "agr tumhare haath na ho to kya tum gloves pahnogi?"
GF-"No, of course not!"
Boy-"fir tum bra kyu pahanti ho..?
Reason for divorce Jokes
Woman:
I expected this = = = = =>
atleast this = = =>
but got this = =>
Man:I expected this()
almost this( )
but what is this
( )
Statement Jokes
Cosntable: Chal teri statement leni hai But he fucks her.Then H.C. Then S.I. Then SHO. In the evening they produced her in the court.
Magistrate:Teri statement leni hai. Kuch kehna hai?
Chorni : Sir,Statement to sooji padi hai. Kal le lena.
Electric Engineer Joke
Wife-swami load jyada aur voltage kam hai.
CHALO CHEENI KHAYE Jokes
1din unka nokar unki jawan beti k sath sex karta pakda gaya.
MAALIK:kya kar raha he?
NOKAR:Maalik, cheeni kha raha hu.
MAALIK: aare pagal cheeni hi khani thi to khuli bori me se kha leta, nayi bori kyu kholi..
Japan Bhosdi ka Joke
Aurat k piche padha inshan bhosdi ka,
Plastick ka lund,
Elestick ki chut, kya kya bana raha hai JAPAN bhosdi ka...?
Monday, August 16, 2010
Mulla Joke
Wife-Dono
He shows his 12 inch penis&said HAIRAN hui na?
Wife-Ha Ab PARESAN karo?
MULLA-Ye khada nahi hota !
Friday, August 6, 2010
Rashifal Joke
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
12 kele Joke
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Recession Joke
Candidate: When 'Wine & Women' get replaced by
'Water & Wife', that critical phase of life is called 'Recession'!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
penis Joke
Boy said ''ara pagli, yeh to khusi ka ashu hai!''
Kudrat ki Vidambnaa Joke
Fulon ka Raja GULAB
"KAANTO" mein rehta hai,
aur,
Srishti ka Nirmata LUND
"JHAATOO" mein rehta hai..!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Pathan Hathiyar Joke
Pathan: judge sb. Daroga ne ham ko hukum dia tha k 'HATHIYAR DAAL DO' Ham ne daal dia..
Friday, July 16, 2010
Zero Figure Joke
Na gand hai na seena hai
Gour farmaiyega
Na gand hai na seena hai
Ye madarchod kaisi haseena hai?
Monday, July 12, 2010
PAPPU Joke
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Train Joke
A newly married man travelling wid her wife dialled Num of a girl written on a
Trains Toilet wall &
His WIFE picked up d Phone
Kamwali bai Joke
Bai-Batameeji Karoge to Mor Bana Dungi.
Ladke-Mor Kaise Banaogi?
Bai-Madarchod Gaaand me Jhadu dal ke...
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Ladka aur Ladki Pheli Mulaqat Joke
1) Girl: kitna seedha ladka hai.
Boy: kitna sexy maal hai , doodh dekh sali ke..
2)Girl: kitna nice behaviour hai.
Boy: Gaand dekh sali ki kitni tight hai..
3)Girl: dressing zabardast ki hai.
Boy: skirt thodi or choti hoti to lund hi khada ho jana tha..
Friday, July 2, 2010
Afganistan Pathan Joke
Sitaron Ki Zarurat Aasman Ko Hoti Hai
Aap Kabhi Afganistan Na Jana
kyu Ki Acchi gaand Ki Zarurat Har Pathan Ko hoti hai.
Medical Report Joke
doctor-ur pregnent.
girl-he bhagwan ab to ungli ka bhi bharosa nhi rha....
Orgasm Joke
Hmmm...
Big Deal !
MEN CAN FAKE AN ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP JUST FOR AN ORGASM !!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Letter to Principal Joke
To
The gandu Principal,
choda School,
chudaipur.
Sir,
Main aap k school ki 8v class ki student hoo.
Par mere boobs bade hone k karan mujhe 10v class me bitha diya. Pr class ke ldko ne mil ke meri chut mar li jiska mjhe afsos nhi h balki bahut maja aya. Pr unho ne meri gand bhi mari, jo k bahut dard kar rahi hai. Isliye mai 2din skool me nhi aa sakti..
Fatt gayi kachi..
chud gayi sachi..
Aap ki pyaari
randi bachi..
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Sucess Joke
'Zindgi ki race me 1st aane ke liye hamesha ye soch kar bhago ki pichhe LUND hai, Agar ruke to GAND me ghus jayega'
WILLIAM SEX FEAR...!!!
Langoti Joke
Guess
Guess
Think
Bcos it takes care of
LUND and GOTIS!!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Pregnat Wife Joke
Agar wife Pregnant ho to kis month tak SEX kar sakte hai?
Dctr:
Jab tak Bacha andar se CHEEKH kar na kahe "Madarchod bas kar, meri bhi marega kya..?"
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
AUR CHUTIYE Joke
agle din jb wo admi tote k karib se guzra to tota kuch na bola..
Thora aage ja k us admi ne mud k dekha to tota haste hue bola
''SAMAJh TO TU GAYA HOGA''
Sardar Murga Joke
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Khubsurat Land Joke
Sardar Joke
She bites on d penis.
He goes 2 doctr n doctor dressed all around d penis.
On 1st nite wife says dear look my seal is tite till today.
Santa-tu seal di gal kardi hai yaaran ne haje packing v ni kholi.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Hichki aur Lund Joke
gaya..
Santa- Oh Rabba lagta hai Banta k saath saath Bhabhi bhi
yaad kar rahi hai...("!")
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
JUGAAD Joke
Ye bataao ki is sentence mein pinky ka kya role hai :-
"Pinky sab ke saath baat karti hai".
studnt : sir,
Pinky JUGAAD hai.!!
javed jaan joke
dr.-ye to pareshani ki baat hai, apne partner ko bulao.
Pathan -javed jaan ,andar aao
KINGFISHER Joke
1 girl asks : Is it a hijack, robery or a routine Board of Directors meeting?
Chutiya Panthi Joke
Friday, June 4, 2010
Giridhar Barse Angan Mein Joke
the boy writes!
Ek hamari pyari madam masti bhare is yauvan me,
shaam dhali piya ghar aye, khat bichai aangan mein,
lab chuse,
stan dabaye,
ling gushaye jangan mein,
vo sesak-sesak ke ro padi,
jab 'giridhar barse angan mein'!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Asshole Boss Joke
Brain said- I'm Boss,bcoz 'I decide'.
Feet said 'I'm Boss, as I run', the Heart said 'I'm Boss, as I'm a critical resource without which the body is dead' and so on by the Lungs, the Hands, Eyes....Finally Asshole said- I should be the Boss.
All parts started laughing.
So Asshole went on strike,blocked itself and refused to open
In a shrt time
Hnds crcked
Eys blured
Ers emited hot air
Bran got hevy
Hert&Lungs panickd
So they al agred that Asshole shoud be the BOSS !
Moral:
It doesn't mater wat u do&wat ur talnts r
Any Asshole cn be ur Boss!
Gum-e-Recession joke
Gum-e-recession mein yoon naa gand maro hamaari,
kabhi boom mein milo to maa chod de tumhari..........
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Husband Wife Joke
"ROTI-VOTI PAKAI HAI, YA CHUT DABA KE SOI HO".
Biwi:-"AATA-WATA LAYE HO,YA LAND HILATE AAYE HO".
Nawab Shayari Joke
"Kya Qayamat hai Kya Majboori hai, Paas Reh ke Bhi kitni Doori hai...
7 Quality of Tea & Girl Joke
1.Garam ho
2.Rang achha ho
3.Tez ho
4.Meethi ho
5.Doodh jyada ho
6.2 minute me taiyar ho jaye
7.Raat ko sone na de..
Faisla Joke
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Bheek Joke
Husband=Uske Agle Week Hm Pura Mandir Jaenge
Wife: Wo kisliye?
Husband: Bheek Mangne...
Toilet Joke
Ek Mahila boli- ye mahilao ke liye hai..
Sardar pant kholkar hilate hue bola- ye bhi to mahilaoo ke liye hai.!.
Chand Joke
Beta: Chand jaisi biwi,
Jo raat me aaye aur subha chali jaye.
Papa: Madarchod use chand nahi, raand kehte hai.
Sadhu Joke
Angutha Joke
He shouts at his mom,
"KHUD JO MARZI CHUSO AUR MUJHE ANGUTHA CHUSNE PAR ITNA MAARTI HO!"
Bus stop Joke
Jab 3rd time boli to santa bola jaldi decide kar Is chakkar mai 3 bus stop aage aa gaya hu.
Secretary Joke
Vacation pe mujhe Sir DARJILING dekhna hai..
Santa pant khol ke BOLA:
Vacation pe kyo.?
Abhi dekh le
SirDAR JI KA LING ?
Suhagrat Joke
Wife kapde utarkar boli- ab chusle, chumle ya chodle par chu chu matkar chutiye...
Call Girl Joke
Jo paap kar ke thak gye wo meri sharan me aaye.
Ek call girl ne niche apna no. likh diya:
Jo nahi thakey wo meri sharan me aaye.
Harami Joke
Yeh tu kya kar raha hai?
Son-deepu apna kaam khud karta hai,apni khushi ke liye Kisi ki maa Nahi chodta
Murgi Joke
Shopkeeper-anday ka kya krogi?
Murgi- Mere Pati ne kaha hai ki 3-/ Rs k Liye Tum Apna Figure Kharab Mat karo..
Police Joke
Santa:Media wali ladki ki wajah se,
Police:Wo kaise?
uski T-shirt pe likha tha PRESS.
Aur maine daba dia
Pyaar joke
Husbnd: to Kya Ye 3 Bachhey Internet Se Download Kiye Hain..?
WIFE: NAHI-NAHI YE TO MISHRAJI KI PEN-DRIVE SE LIYE HAI
UNITY Joke
A girl's one leg says to the other leg :
United we are safe...
Divided we are fucked!!
Mushkil Joke
Banta:Oh yaar tu lucky h, Auron se to woh 5 leti hai
Monday, May 24, 2010
My husband is safe...Joke
Sunday, May 23, 2010
nitrate? joke
5 Tv Program joke
Thakur Gabbar joke
Cycle seat joke
Panty Tight Karle Joke
jadugal joke
sex ka code joke
Suicide and Masturbation joke
Bra Is Singular joke
Friday, May 21, 2010
Hypnotise Joke
Wife:kisi ko apne Control me kerke apni Marzi ke "kaam"karwana
Husband:Chal Jhooti,Use to SHAADI kehte hain.!
Similarity Jokes
A: Both are sweet n tight in the beginning but become tasteless n shapeless later.
Confused Jokes
Son-Techer kendi h 5+3=8
fir kendi 6+2=8
fir kendi 4+4=8
Ben di lodi khud confused hai menu ki padayegi.
Rishta Jokes
PYAR KHATAM.
Meri SAB Nishania Vapis Kardo.
Premika ne Ek Condom ki Tokri De kar Kaha:-
"Le Kutte,
Eisme se Jo-jo TERE Ho Dhund Le.??
Good manners
Santa : climbs into bed slowly,smiles & says
"Honey would u pass the Boobs please"
Sardar aur Chor
3 ne try ki mgr andar na gya. SARDAR-Chaku lao,iski gand faad do.
CHOR:Maderchodo 1bar thuk laga k to try kro.
Phele Mera
SIX or SEX
.
Very simple
.
Utha k maaro tou SIX
Or
Litaa k maaro tou SEX
.
Haath ooper ho tou SIX
Or
Taangay UPAR HO TO SEX
Lifetime Pack
UsKe BaaPNe Puchha-Yeh Kis Ka hai ?
LAdki-papa chota chota rechrge dalwati thi pata nhi kisne ye lifeTime pack dal diya....!
carieer barbaad kar dita...
MILLIONAIRES
That ALL MEN ARE MILLIONAIRES
Atleast by their sperm count.....
The Funniest thing is.....
Even these are also spent on women...
No Sir, No Sir!
wife is better
VAGINA look like before SEX?
First Time
Beautiful & Sexy Wife-No No actually it is first time at night..
Maa raat ko bahar nahi jaane deti thi
Bahar aana
2nd mera pati to 1 hath aur 1 per dal deta hai.
3rd salwar utha k boli suno jara bahar aana..
Detergent...
Sardar : usi detergent se apni choot bhi dho le...!
Bhai Behen
Boy : OK ! But Im not ur brother , my father never fucked ur mom.
Girl : true , but my father did !
Difference
New Couple & Old Couple?
New Couple
LIPS Milla kar sote Hain
Aur
Old Couple
HIPS Milake kar
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Frustrated Thakur
Thakur:lele lele mere hath b lele
Kalia k b lele,
Basanti k b lele
Jay or Veeru tum b dedo
le
DURGA MATA banja Saale.!
Gabbar: Sorry yaar tu to senti ho gya.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Blue Film Name
1.Hasina Ki Gand Me Pasina
2.Ghar Me Sali To Puri Raat Diwali
3.Pati Fauj Me Biwi Mauj Me
4.Utar Ke Panty So Gayi Aunty
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Dalogy n Nikalogy
B.R.E.A.S.T.S
'Women Hole
You want sex?
Boobs R Smal
Insurance Policy
Kunwari ladki
Boy: nahi main Kunwari ladkiyon k sath sex nahi karta.
Girl: why?
Boy: bus mujhe "Khoon-Kharaba or "Shor-Sharaba" pasand nahi.
MITHAI ki Dukan
Jisme 1 CREAMROLL hai,
2 GULAB JAMUN hai,
kuch SEVIYAN bhi hai,
aur Khushi ke Mouko Par toh KHEER Bhi Banayi Jati Hai...
Comparison
Hota sabke paas hai lekin dena koi nahin chahta.
Updesh LUND ki tarah hota hai,
Dena sab chahte hain lekin lena koi nahin chahta.
Khush Zindagi
Kisi ne Khush Zindgi Ka Raz Pucha.
Husbnd Bola:Meri Biwi Muje Joote Se Marti h.Lag Jaye T Wo Hasti h,Na Lage T Main hsta hu
Road to USA
God: Its very tough ask sum thing else.
Girl: Make a boy love only 1 girl.
God: Do u want single or double road 2 USA
Confidence
Malika ne tailor ko 1 rumal dekar kaha: Mere 2 suit bana dena.
Ab aap tailor ka confidence dekho-
Madam Baki k kapde ka kya karna h.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Nawab Saheb
Daalte hi Chhut gaya.
Randi boli HUZOOR Ne Kyon ZEHMAT UTHAI,
Chamach Me Rakh Kar BHIJWA dete.
Ye Nachij Khud ANDER Daal Leti.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Premi Premika
BENCHOD
Revenge-BENCHOD ab dekh me kaise teri maa chodta hu
Request-BENCHOD masti mat kr yar!
Failure-BENCHOD mere lode bhi lag gaye!
Anxiety-BENCHOD ye ho kya raha h?
Anger-BENCHOD bahar nikal vrna teri gand mar lunga!
Curious-oo BENCHOD Tune ye kese kiya?
Lust-ah ah BENCHOD aur zor se hila!
Pride-BENCHOD mere jesa koi ni h!
Sad-BENCHOD mere sath hi kyu esa hua?
Msg khatm ho gya
BENCHOD
Seeing Girls
BANTA- Fir Hath Chhod Dena
Toh Medical College Ki b Dikh Jygi
Funny Quote
''I Am Not 60 Years Old.., I Am Sweet 16 with 44 years Experience....''
Thats Attitude....!
Ring Tones
Bride slapped him.
Why???
usme ringtone thi-
dil me chhupake pyar ka armaan le chala. Main aaj apni maut ka saman le chala.
Pearl of Wisdom to Remember
Some translations in hindi
Munni, ye upar kya hai..?
Listen buddy, dat chick is mine..!
Suno dost, vo murgi ka baccha mera hai..!
R u nuts..?
Kya aap akhrot hain..?
Rock d party.
Patthar maro jashn mein..
Lets hangout!
Chalo bahar latakte hain...
Height of language prob
He said: Aunty, remind me 2 remove my pant wen u remove ur saree!
Technology
Santa-Wa! Kya technology hai! Biwi hospital me, aur beta ghar paida hua hai.
Height of Embarrassment?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Embroidery
Dr: Stitches lagane
padenge.
S: Kitne paise?
Dr: Rs.3000
S: Stitches hi lagwane hai, embroidery nahi karwani!!
MENS F rules
Diff Names
01-05: Toto
06-10: Bholu
11-14: Lulli
15-20: LUND
20-25: Loda
26-35: Shikari
36-50: Naram garam
51-60: Kaam chor
61-75: Zinda lash
Happy Girl
Its not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a chef
5. an electrician
6. a carpenter
7. a plumber
8. a mechanic
9. a decorator
10. a stylist
11. a driver
12. a gynecologist
13. a psychologist
14. a pest ex terminator
15. a psychiatrist
16. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
Easy na...
Half Ticket
Rajsthani lady : iko b lagego k? Yo to abhi BOBO chuse hai
Conductor: BOBO to iko BAP b chuse hai. to uko b free ma bithau k
Bewafa Dost
The "LAAL" factor
Mobile Secrets
Bol kyo?
Kyoki agar mobile ko pichhe ki pocket me rakhega to battery foot jayegi, or battery footne se Gaand faat jayegi
Log to haath se Gaand dhote hai, tum gaand se haath dho bethoge.